Friday, September 15, 2006

When they caught me in wet pants!!!

Like any other “bubbling to blast the world with my success” representative of the generation which is still enjoying the right side of their 30s, I also dream about my future when I will make it big. I dream about those “Rendezvous with the lady in white dress” interviews where she is interrogating me with tears in her eyes and making voices as she has never been hornier. And I am answering them with all the grace, sophistication and charm; I probably would never be able to achieve in next 7 lives.

I haven’t yet prepared myself for her other questions. But I definitely have prepared myself for the answer to one of her questions. “My most embarrassing moment in life”. Let me site few of them here.

The Shobhna!!!

I was on tours during one of the very little training I have done in my life. I had gone to Vadodara and was truly amazed with the Gujju beauties. My amazement was even more so as I was coming from the lands of extreme south where every female seems to have crossed 40, either in her age or in her waist size.

But time to bid adieu came sooner than I expected. So there I was, at the platform and waiting for my train. During all my journeys, lady luck has always blessed me with the company full of experiences. M 67, F 78, M 82, F 98 and like that have been my neighbors in all my journeys. But I expected and hoped for some change this time and the lady smiled at me. I checked the reservation chart and it was F 25 Shobhana occupying the seat below me. However it was around 2:00 AM at night so I dozed off. I woke up next afternoon and decided to chuck out all my fears with opposite sex. We started talking. Although as usual, I didn’t talk much.

Growing age induces a lot of vices into your brain before it infiltrates with your body. I had developed a habit of forgetting names. But I wasn’t going to forget this lass’ name. Noway. “Shobhna, Shobhna” was what drumming inside my mind round the clock. Finally, like all good things, journey was coming to an end. We had decided to get down together, catch the same autos and proceed as our destinations were in same areas. But what the hell, we haven’t been introduced formally. She recalled it almost an hour before the train was to come to its final halt. My mind was still drumming “Shobhna, Shobhna” just to make sure its not deleted from my fading memory.

She: “Hey, we don’t know each others name?”

Me: “Yeah you are right”

She: “So what’s your name?”

Me: “Shobhna”. That is exactly how it came out. And I could see the “shock of the life” look on her beautiful face.

“What?” was the next word I could hear from her and it was the last one. Next one hour I spent outside the cozy air-conditioned compartment. As soon as the station came, I ran away faster than I have ever done in my life.

But, the name was nice… “Shobhna”.

My hobbies!!!

If first one was embarrassing, this one crosses the limit. I met this gal over one of the matrimonial sites. And like the modern catalyst of matchmaking, we started to chat. Now people knowing me also know I am a big chat addict and generally have 4-5 windows open at a time. I was also chatting with a guy friend of mine and the first three letters of his name were same as the first three letters of the girl’s name. After the first few messages, the girl asked me “What are your favorite pastime activities?”

I thought my guy had asked me this stupid question. I never miss a chance to showcase some humor in whatever I do and expect my friends to find some humor in it. And they generally do it successfully. So thinking the question had come from a guy, I wrote “I love to sh****”. It went to the girl’s window.

I realized my blunder instantly and suddenly started doing everything I do in an interview. I was sweating, shivering and trying to control my laugh. After 6-7 sentences full of sorry, the girl replied “Chalo, at least you are honest about the things you love to do.” Her cool attitude and acceptance of the fact that she was rolling over the floor laughing with her head over heals made me even more embarrassed.

I sincerely pray to God that I don’t have to face any situation worse than that but as the saying goes, “If you think situation is bad, just hold on. It can actually get worse.”


Srivatsa said...

Reminds me of a situation when we were returning to Cal and there was this cute girl sitting close to two of us and the rest of the gang was in another compartment. Our berths were next to the door. Patki (Someone whose foot was generally in his mouth) entered the compartment and shouted "Babe kidhar hai?" which of course meant that we could not return till everyone had fallen asleep!

saumyajit said...

abbe 'my guy' kyun likha hai public space mein?

Gaurav said...

another embarrasing moment can be the amma incident