Tuesday, November 27, 2007

A Diversified Unity

We have unity in diversity. This is one statement I have heard right from the day I realized I could hear. Being over 7 Olympics old and having stayed in 7-8 states, I often tend to get confused if its unity in diversity or a diversified unity i.e. several united groups. Apart from regular divisions of religion and caste, these groups could be traced back to their peculiar and specific traits as well. I have experienced a few since my child hood which was not very long ago if still not continuing.

Bongs: They are one of the most well read creature of all. But excess of everything is bad and you realize it sooner or later with them. A typical bong male would have been a cannibal if the world was all water, follows football (or soccer or whatever you call it) as if it is his bread earning, would support Dada to be in the team till he is 45, will talk so much that you would put your hearing capacity to test and be the first to form a union and support a strike. In politics, they are an expert in making failed alliances. A typical bong female, I love them all.

Mumbaikar: A typical mumbaikar is extremely proud of Mumbai, would support Tendulkar to be in the side till he is 46, would go to any extent to prove that Ajit Agarkar is the best fast bowler India has and will ever produce, would be running even if he is in his sleep as if he has to catch a Virar Local and come up with a typical crib when confronted with the issue of pathetic state of the city – “You people come from outside and spoil the city”.

Southy: A survey has suggested that an average South Indian spends around 32.18% of his life time in pronouncing his name, his name contains 96.45% of the alphabets and 86.3% of the times it contains all the alphabets. For them 35% of a typical meal is water, 45% is rice and rest is rice. From fingers to elbow, 78% of right hand and 67% of left is involved while eating. Average BMI index for them is 32; he generally doesn’t get bald and even if he does, no. of hair per sq. inch of body remains almost same by compensating at other places.

Bihari: This is the most determined breed I have ever seen. They are generally very cool and calm but when they loose temper, they make sure the other party gains the composure ASAP. The biggest weapon for them in any altercation is the letting the other person know that they are from Bihar. Generally altercation stops there. Politics - every Bihari is a born politician.

Punjabi: They possess the best business acumen; love the language full of motherhood and sisterhood and, if from Delhi, their opening sentence would be “I am from Delhi.”

Bhaiyye: The “good for nothing” breed. Yet they feel as if they were born to rule this planet. Being from UP, they follow the golden rule – it’s not the winner who always rules, sometimes it’s a loser’s job. Hence they always emulate mediocrity and try their best to hide in heap and hurt in mob.

Marwari: The most money minded species as stated in the example below -

Me: Do you know, there was a live bomb caught in our company today?
Marwari: Shit!!! Our stocks will go down tomorrow.

The above description is entirely based on my experiences and is not intended to hurt any group, cast, religion, region etc. etc. You may agree with it, or may not. In any case, suit yourself.


Felomina said...

buddy u alws rock...but i feel u mite hav acquired those traits too..but 1 exception the prominent1.. ur hair.. so u r nt southy :P... baaki ka niche discussion forum mein mujhe pata chal jaayega...

Dreamer said...

i feel u missed the most important trait of a Bihari....overconfidence. btw u haven't mentioned abt Oriyas :-)

Spiff said...

Biahris rock as always.,.no tw2o ways... and You love typical bong female :D..was she that typical :)

Saumyajit said...

Dadaaa dadaa!!!

Anonymous said...

I know u luv them all...bongs

Ruchi said...

Nahi re...biharis aren't that scary.

Vaise u havent written anything about MPites :)