Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Just in case…

Just in case the Karmayuddha of BCCI, the IPL falls flat on its face (Com’ on. Most of us, the connoisseurs of the game, so desperately want it to), what will happen to the fate of this idea which is expected to be yet another Taj Mahal on Subhash Chandra’s grave.

SRK – It will surely fulfill his biggest dream – to be bigger than Big B, it will surely beat the debacle known as ABCL. Although the king khan has himself declared some backup plans on increasing the number of marriages he is going to dance in, this may well not be enough. He might well be turning the guest in place of a host in his next TV show . May be his dear friend Karan Johar, who can now officially hold a ration card in Tamil Nadu, will play the host. He deserves it. After all how could he not see ISI’s strategy to plant Shohaib Akhtar in India’s one season old Brett Lee, Ishant Sharma. Doesn’t he know that Shohaib plays with his captain’s balls on the ground and his own bat in the dressing room?

Mukesh Ambani – For the entire stock expert out there predicting to this slowdown dead in a year or two, get ready for a new IPO. The entire reliance group has so many companies under its umbrella that they themselves may not know. If they do not declare a new one for a week, they get constipated. One fine day Mr. Ambani will get up, launch a new company, declare ever than handsome projections for it and launch an IPO. Market, which would just be out of this sub P(L)ime crisis will soar and crash. By than he would have earned and invited SRK for his kids’ marriage.

Wadias – Or shall I say Preity Zinta. I wish I was born as Ness Wadia. Everyone does. Even if they loose everything, they have sufficient land in Mumbai to cover their losses. I hope they don’t go the Pamela – Tommy Lee route as Ms. Zinta was rumored to have her experiences with modern hand held gadgets in the past. Their marriage will happen giving SRK one more platform to dance.

Vijay Mallaya ­ - Only Mr. Mallaya is completely hedged in this lot. If IPL is a success, he earns. If its not, he will have thousands to get drowned riding on a Kingfisher in the oceans of divine liquids. He would later say that he doesn’t mind IPL failing as test cricket is real cricket. After all, with Dravid, Kallis, Kumble, and Jaffer in his side his team would only play test cricket in IPL.

Emerging Media – It will never emerge. Shane Warne being their captain, I hope some MMS on the offer pretty soon.

Deccan Chronicle – They will earn more than enough if they sell Andrew Symonds to Indians.

Sourav Ganguly – Dada would be the happiest in case IPL fails. I am sure he would repeat his Lords – 2002 act in front of BCCI. Just that he would have better words this time rather than the unmentionables ­­- The Dard-e-disco. I am sure he will always keep a slip on as himself during the tests, keep Ponting as 12th man and never let Shohaib Akhtar hold a bat. Only thing he will regret is the ghost of his captaincy days hasn’t stopped following him yet, the best potential all rounder of all times - Ajit Agarkar. Though the job is easier in 20-20 because one just need to hide his 24 balls yet Agarkar has all the talent in the world to surpass all the expectations and get 50s consistently – with ball I meant.

DLF – It will turn to Delhi Liberation Front.

Rest, you can add in comments.


Sachin Gulhane said...

Had BCCI taken your views in to account earlier, this IPL auction would have been on paper only .. I have same feeling-- this may not be as successful as they are portraying

LoonyTalk said...

Really nice one...
How about IPL itself being called 'Insolvents' Pennyless Lafda'! :D