Finally it happened!!! Finally Kerry Packer wore the Indian kurta-pajama and danced the bhangra. With the korbo, lorbo jeetbo Kolkata Knight Riders crushing the josh of Royal Challengers , IPL finally kick started. The moment I was done with my returning the favour of my miniscule salary to my employer by the act of looking busy till 6:00 PM, I bought my daily dose of Mid-Day and rushed my way into the train. Front page was all IPL and my neighbour almost snatched the news paper from my hands to see the ad. I missed the opening ceremony which was being described by every commentator using three phrases – “out of the world”, “never seen before” and “mind-blowing” apart from being short. As if they were asked to use these and only these because only these collections of adjectives were sponsored. I wondered if Mr. Daruwala Mallaya had made his entire fleet of air hostesses lap dance. To my disappointing amazement, it was just a few gymnasts and dancers performing the age old ritualistic steps. Obviously, they would not have seen it before because who bothers to see such age old boring antics? They must have enjoyed the “short” part of it.
Finally Zaheer Khan made a comeback to some kind of international cricket but the way he was welcomed, he might soon consider a re-visiting his rehabilitation. If Brenden Macculum was unstoppable, Dada showed that he can score near-sixes through his top edges even in 20-20 while facing the chin music. Perhaps no one had told Ponting that even if he is facing Zaheer Khan, next change will not be Ishant Sharma because he is in his side. But the imported artillery of Knight Riders kept firing and they reached a score which Royal Challenger, considering their perfect life saver test batting line up, would have been proud to score in a day. But they were disappointing. Not because they lost badly. But with Dravid, Jaffer and Kallis as their top 3 batsmen, one expects them to play till stumps at least. These three soft gentlemen didn’t even give a chance to Dada to settle the scores of chin music with an Australian captain. He would have though of placing Ponting in silly point and bowl four overs of driveable and cuttables. But every drive ended in slips and every cut into stumps. Even Ajit Agarkar made his presence felt but most of us would have prayed to God that selectors don’t get any feelings and give us another dose of his duck-worth performances in the national side.
Royal Challengers looked happier in their dressing rooms as compared to the ground. But the supply of divine liquids expected from the owner and face of the team as Khatarnak Kaif , one cannot blame them of rushing to the dressing room every time they are forced to the grounds.
Knight Riders looked happier in the ground as compared to the dressing room because it was occupied by the owner and his "Rendezvous fame – Simi Grewal in pants" friend Karan Johar. And we know cricketers love to play straight drives. They must have been shocked when SRK revealed the team strategy to a TV channel () –
“So I want to tell all of them, please if you are watching this I am dying to meet you, but I am just trying to get the backend of Knight Riders done. So I’ll be there.”
Now I know what Karan Johar kept whispering in his ears in the most seducing manner during the entire match. May be he wanted his backend done too.
All in all, the match had all the excitement but I didn’t know who to support, how to get excited, when to feel sad and why to feel tense. It looked more of exhibition match in nature for the cause of uplifting the homosexuality in a conservative society through the means of buoyant alcohol consumption.