Monday, May 05, 2008

Tashan - What is life without it!!!

Heroin lures one of the heroes in the movie to accomplice her in stealing villain's money and betrays him. That was Kareena Kapoor in Fida. Hero blinks his eyes just to realize that heroine has run away with the money making his arse as villain's play-toy. That was Anil Kapoor in Musafir. A cop sets up the hero in villain’s gang as a mole (Only the cop knows about it) and gets killed leaving the hero wondering how to prove – “Main Bekasoor hoon”. The cop was Iftekhar in DON. Heroine works for the villain as "Asteen Ka Saanp" to take her revenge because he killed her father in her childhood. That was so many Parveen Babis & Jeenat Amans in so many movies. Another hero playing colleague of heroine suddenly finds out that she is his childhood love with whom he used to play doctor-doctor and sing "Jab Hum Jawan Honge". This was again a prevalent phenomenon in 80s. He jumps to insurmountable heights with such an expertise like Kiran More did in India-Pakistan tie in WC-92. In cinematic terms, it was ala Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. You mix it all - its Tashan, the so called most awaited movie of summer 2008. After all, what is life without Tashan.

Hold on, if you think it’s just a mixture of cinematic upliftment (in literal sense or may be no sense) and look down at the Saga, there is a plethora of creativity attached.

Have you ever seen a Rickshaw driver in designer jeans, glittering shirt, sport shoes or gold chain as thick as Kareena Kapoor's waist in Tashan's posters? Could you ever imagine it in a town which is not even heard off by anyone (at least YRF think so), Kanpur? Could you? Aditya Chopra could.

Could you ever imagine the hero doing a water scooter stunt in a lake? Okay you saw AB doing it in Dhoom-2. But could you imagine it in a Dhobighaat? Saif Ali Khan drove his water scooter in a Dhobhighat tunnel, jumped over Anil Kapoor to get a peek-a-boo into his cleavage and shot him many a times only to find Anil Kapoor running on a rickshaw-with two-swords-on-the-handle like a bull’s horns after a few seconds.

Or could you imagine reaching from Haridwar to Rajasthan in shortest possible time via beautiful valleys of Laddakh. Its just YRF’s Tashan can do it. After all, what is life without Tashan.

Okay. The normal review - There is the villain BhaiyyaJi who gets killed by the heroine Pooja/Gudia because she wanted her revenge and the hero Bacchan Pandey because he wanted the heroine. The side hero Jimmy just gets an offer lets-do-it -again from the heroine when hero is busy drying heroin’s undergarments. Acting is not worth mentioning and direction seems to be done by some stuntman picked from Tollywood. Some songs are good. Camera man deserves some applauds for creating angles to find curves in Kareen Kapoor’s ultra thin body. She has definitely lost so much fat that even Anil Kapoor seems to possess bigger assets in his transparent vest. For Saif, he must be surviving on huddy because there seems to be no kebab for him.

If you are a fan of Yash Raj Films (I wonder how you are alive because they ordered Neal & Nikky to kill every one), Tashan is a treat to watch – just the posters I mean because they are good. The other good thing is the name – Tashan. Problem is, good things end then and there.

I agree that the movie was not going be brutally realistic and classically documentary. But when you see the most atrocious stunts repeatedly with the background score like “Bacchan Bacchan Pandey, Sabko Dikha de Tande”, there is always a song when you least want and most expect, jokes told are worth explaining and the entire presentation seems to be so erratic, one just cannot help it. Looks like YRF were hoping to sell the movie just on the basis of Kareena’s fluorescent two piece bikini. When things didn’t work out, he seems to have taken the Mid-Day route to promote the most talked about feature of the movie. But he forgot that this is the age of youtube and the entire scene was out in everyone’s possession within minutes of movie release. That is why they say – Kill Piracy.

YRF seems have taken Kanpur close to their heart by using the city’s background in two of their movies recently. Wish they use their minds to. If they showed HBTI in Lucknow (in place of Kanpur) in Bunty & Bubbly, a vehicle signifying Kanpur is shown as numbered UP32 (in place of UP78). Someone please go and tell them that no where and absolutely nowhere a mafia roams around in a rickshaw. Even if you are creating a hypothetical world of thrill and drama, please do some research and use common sense.

May god forgive Aditya Chopra for all his sins and bless him an orgy with Guddi Maruti, Shakeela and Bobby Darling with all the Tashan. After all, what is life without Tashan.

5 comments:

Spiff said...

:)

i don't know if you intended this...but your review of tashan makes it seems like the movie tried too much but without havin a proper structure or theme almost like this blog post of urs where you are tryin to say so much with so many metaphors

Vibhash Prakash Awasthi said...

i did not intend to...but it has turned out that way.....like the movie.

Dreamer said...

so instead of Aditya Chopra, u shld be blessed an orgy with Guddi Maruti, Shakeela and Bobby Darling with all the Tashan.

Vibhash Prakash Awasthi said...

@dreamer...u dnt know how badly i love ur old-sadist self.

Sachin Gulhane said...

My .00001% desire of watching TASHAN is vanished the moment i started reading your blog... after reading I am wondering was it owrth to read entire blog and was it worth you to spend so much time to write @ TASHAN. WASTE WASTE WASTE .. movie and our time