Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Fall out of Opium Trade!!!

Just trying to visualize the future –

Pakistan's star cricketer Mohd. Asif gets caught at Dubai airport for keeping illegal opium with him. Asif claims that the drugs were planted by airport official to have their revenge as he had slapped one of them. This gives rise to an international issue – Pakistan government does not want their genuine national hero (they are far and few in Pakistan) to get behind the bars for 4-6 years. Officials at Dubai Airport (if Asif's version to be accepted) want to prove him wrong because it jeopardizes their image.

Questions are being raised on how he managed to dodge the screening at Mumbai Airport.

Mumbai’s one of the most famous nephews who have global ambitions with local intellect claims that it must have been because of the screening was done by officials who belong to a certain part of the country. These people are dishonest and spoil the culture of his soil. He demands 80% reservations for locals and 32% for lower castes in airport jobs. Taking a cue from the book of a famous colonel from Haryana, he blocks all the train traffic from in and out of Mumbai which calls a chaos.

Thankfully we have a PM who understands us precisely as reflected in his statement below.

"I do believe that to the ordinary people of our country, games like hockey and football have [more] significance than the world of cricket."

(How incorrigibly correct?)

He calls for a peaceful solution for the problem. Mamta Banerjee opposes the PM’s request, not the nephew. Being an eternal leftist, it’s her duty to oppose whatever the government proposes. She calls for a nation-wide bandh in Kolkata. This disrupts Mayavati’s rally in Kolkata where she was to unveil finger pointing statue of Kanshiram and her own. The BSP head takes it as an insult to the sentiments of lower castes and declares to launch five more Kanshiram Parks where her devotees can establish her statue whenever they want.

Barkha Dutt calls for a debate on her TV show on NDTV with Superstar Tushar Kapoor, Preity Zinta, Mahesha Bhatt, Alec Padmsey representing public’s views and the effect of entire fiasco on Aam Aadmi. Mahesh Bhatt declares to make a film on Mohd. Asif. Viewers can send an SMS on weather Imran Hashmi should play the lead as Asif using there Spice Connection. Since Spice was one of the sponsors of Kings XI Punjab, person sending the maximum number of SMS would be rewarded with a DLF Maximum hug from Preity Zinta.

Spice receives over seven hundred thousand SMS and suddenly becomes profitable. Instead of selling of their stake to some foreign company, they persuade Mukesh Ambani to invest in it. Mukesh goes ahead for two reasons – One to have a weapon against his brother’s telecom arm and two to make Mumbai Indians a better team. As soon as he is told that in cricket a straight drive is much better shot than a push behind the middle stump, he drops Robin Uthappa and buys Rohit Sharma form Deccan Chargers. Royal Challengers buys him because they had too many of straight drivers in their team.

The famous nephew again complains that people are giving preference to migrants for Mumbai’s team and completing ignoring local talent like Vinod Kambli. For rest, please go to step second paragraph and re-read. To calm things down, Ambani hires Kambli’s wife as MI’s brand ambassador.

Anyhow, it was proved (at least it looks like so) that the drug was actually an ayurvadic medicine "Shilajit" and it was all a "misunderstanding".


Spiff said...

if its a setup..the dubai guys r not going to back down. The best Asif can hope is for deportation..

and lets hope for bappas sake that spice stock picks up :D

Vibhash Prakash Awasthi said...

thr was some news today tht he wud be deported...spice has run his race.

LoonyTalk said...

Good one as usual! :)
However, I'm disappointed to see your reluctance to mention Raj Thackeray and Retd. Col KS Bainsla's names... :o Any scary dreams to blame?

Vibhash Prakash Awasthi said...

darna padta hai bhai....pata nahi kab log ghar pe patthar maarne aa jayen :)...