Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Kashmir in a marriage!!!

Few excerpts of a conversation between two friends which I happen to overhear in train today (They seem to be meeting after long time) –


A: Hey how are you?

B: I am fine. How you have been? Long time, no?


A: I am fine too. You tell me what’s new at your end?

B: All fine. My marriage got fixed.


A: Congratulations. So when is the marriage?

B: It’s just got fixed. Engagement will be next month.


A: So courtship period starts. Good.

B: Yeah, kind off. BTW tell me dude.


A: What?

B: Give me some gyaan about marriage.


A: Gyaan about marriage? I though you had enough of Bangbuses and Milfs.

B: Not that way dude. Tell me how is life after marriage.


A: Life is good.

B: Really? And how does it change?


A: In what ways?

B: How things change with family.


A: Oh, that ways. You would be staying with your parents so you are asking.

B: Yes.


A: Tell me, what you think about Kashmir.

B: It’s a bone of contention. It belongs to India but Pakistan keeps claiming it.

A: Yes. Both India and Pakistan make a claim on it.

B: So?


A: Be ready to be a Kashmir between your wife and mother.

B: Oh, and wife would be Pakistan and mother would be India.


A: Never say it.

B: So vice versa?


A: Never say it.

B: So? Who would be India and who would be Pakistan?


A: Who does Kashmir belong to?

B: India.


A: So if you are sitting with your mother, she is India. If it’s your wife, she is India.

B: And whoever I am not sitting with is Pakistan.


A: Never say it.

B: Ah, I am hardly going to have any say it means.


A: You are slowly getting it.

B: What when both are sitting together.


A: Well, just do not say anything in such a case. In fact you may hardly get a chance.

B: Dude what about this Kashmiri?


A: What about you, I mean a Kashmiri?

B: Yeah.


A: Tell me, what do some Kashmiri parties claim what Kashmir wants?

B: Freedom.


A: Yes. But you know what they miss?

B: No.


A: Kashmir’s geographical location is such that it cannot remain free. Either India will have to capture it or Pakistan.

B: Ah, so I must be ready to surrender my so called freedom.


A: You better do because if India and Pakistan don’t capture Kashmir, China will.

B: Ah, that would be even worse.


A: Yes, so better get rid off all those separatist elements who claim to be freedom fighters. And always be with India. That is your best chance.

B: Yes. Dude but where does UN come into picture? After all Kashmir is not perceived as a bilateral issue.


A: There is no UN in this world. There is just one US.

B:  Okay. The big daddy. Where does it come into the picture?


A: Your dad. He is an old man.

B: Oh, him. But US is still is a superpower.


A: It was. In reality it’s a falling economy.

B: But...how?


A: Come’ on. All its life it had been funding the monstrous greed for consumption of its citizens.

B: Who...me?


A: Yes...You. It has gone into a credit crisis now.

B: So it is helpless?


A: Yes. And do not forget. US had its Vietnam and Cuba and Russia when on peak.

B: Oh.


A: And US still have an Afghanistan to counter.

B: Who, my mother or my would-be?

A: Idiot. It’s you.

B: And it’s looking for a face saving exit from Afghanistan.


A: You are getting it.

B: Okay. Come, let’s go to Totos and have some beer. It’s been ages.


A: Not today. My daughter is having her kindergarten admission test tomorrow.

B: Oho. Dude, you are just 35. Why did you have kids so early?


A: Because I did not want to buy Leo Toys from my pension money.

B: Hehe!!!


A: What about Friday?

B: Not on Friday. I am going on my first official date.


A: Aha...then Saturday should be fine.

B: Not on Saturday, I have to take my mother to Siddhivinayak temple.


A: Oh, so claim on Kashmir has already started.

B: Well....


A: Ask you dad to take her to temple.

B: Well, US has declared a war against Afghanistan these days. So I have started playing Kashmir.


A: Welcome to the club buddy!!!


Standard Disclaimers:

1.        I just overheard this conversation.  

2.        I strongly believe that Kashmir DOES belong to India.            

3.        I do not intend to hurt any sentiments of any region/marital status/ country/religion and if there is something like that, its regretted. All I am intending is PUN.



Yayaver said...

You have a either sharp ear or manipulative mind.The conversation is excellent.Good article.

Anonymous said...

kya baat hai .. you have learnt all the lessons ...

Anonymous said...

kya baat hai .. you have learnt all the lessons ...

Spiff said...

@vibh: While your grasp of Kashmir policy and history seems a bit faulty..your analogies with the family situations seem spoton.

Spiff said...

There you go..I think its a good article..why dont you link it to Desipundit etc

Sachin Gulhane said...

good old vibhash is back... (btw here old doesnt necesrly means ur age ) :-).. good post....keep it up ...

kaushal chokshi said...

brilliant article....great mixture of political issues and family system.

Amit said...

Good and relevant tips for a budding husband

Ashutosh sinha said...

Bhaut badiya insight.. :)

Kaushik Dey said...

Well I empathize having seen this "Kashmiri " in close quarters now.When a "Kashmiri" is in foreign land thats when he enjoys real freedom.Ofcourse PUN intended.