Few excerpts of a conversation between two friends which I happen to overhear in train today (They seem to be meeting after long time) –
A: Hey how are you?
B: I am fine. How you have been? Long time, no?
A: I am fine too. You tell me what’s new at your end?
B: All fine. My marriage got fixed.
A: Congratulations. So when is the marriage?
B: It’s just got fixed. Engagement will be next month.
A: So courtship period starts. Good.
B: Yeah, kind off. BTW tell me dude.
B: Give me some gyaan about marriage.
A: Gyaan about marriage? I though you had enough of Bangbuses and Milfs.
B: Not that way dude. Tell me how is life after marriage.
A: Life is good.
B: Really? And how does it change?
A: In what ways?
B: How things change with family.
A: Oh, that ways. You would be staying with your parents so you are asking.
A: Tell me, what you think about Kashmir.
B: It’s a bone of contention. It belongs to India but Pakistan keeps claiming it.
A: Yes. Both India and Pakistan make a claim on it.
A: Be ready to be a Kashmir between your wife and mother.
B: Oh, and wife would be Pakistan and mother would be India.
A: Never say it.
B: So vice versa?
A: Never say it.
B: So? Who would be India and who would be Pakistan?
A: Who does Kashmir belong to?
A: So if you are sitting with your mother, she is India. If it’s your wife, she is India.
B: And whoever I am not sitting with is Pakistan.
A: Never say it.
B: Ah, I am hardly going to have any say it means.
A: You are slowly getting it.
B: What when both are sitting together.
A: Well, just do not say anything in such a case. In fact you may hardly get a chance.
B: Dude what about this Kashmiri?
A: What about you, I mean a Kashmiri?
A: Tell me, what do some Kashmiri parties claim what Kashmir wants?
A: Yes. But you know what they miss?
A: Kashmir’s geographical location is such that it cannot remain free. Either India will have to capture it or Pakistan.
B: Ah, so I must be ready to surrender my so called freedom.
A: You better do because if India and Pakistan don’t capture Kashmir, China will.
B: Ah, that would be even worse.
A: Yes, so better get rid off all those separatist elements who claim to be freedom fighters. And always be with India. That is your best chance.
B: Yes. Dude but where does UN come into picture? After all Kashmir is not perceived as a bilateral issue.
A: There is no UN in this world. There is just one US.
B: Okay. The big daddy. Where does it come into the picture?
A: Your dad. He is an old man.
B: Oh, him. But US is still is a superpower.
A: It was. In reality it’s a falling economy.
A: Come’ on. All its life it had been funding the monstrous greed for consumption of its citizens.
A: Yes...You. It has gone into a credit crisis now.
B: So it is helpless?
A: Yes. And do not forget. US had its Vietnam and Cuba and Russia when on peak.
A: And US still have an Afghanistan to counter.
B: Who, my mother or my would-be?
A: Idiot. It’s you.
B: And it’s looking for a face saving exit from Afghanistan.
A: You are getting it.
B: Okay. Come, let’s go to Totos and have some beer. It’s been ages.
A: Not today. My daughter is having her kindergarten admission test tomorrow.
B: Oho. Dude, you are just 35. Why did you have kids so early?
A: Because I did not want to buy Leo Toys from my pension money.
A: What about Friday?
B: Not on Friday. I am going on my first official date.
A: Aha...then Saturday should be fine.
B: Not on Saturday, I have to take my mother to Siddhivinayak temple.
A: Oh, so claim on Kashmir has already started.
A: Ask you dad to take her to temple.
B: Well, US has declared a war against Afghanistan these days. So I have started playing Kashmir.
A: Welcome to the club buddy!!!
1. I just overheard this conversation.
2. I strongly believe that Kashmir DOES belong to India.
3. I do not intend to hurt any sentiments of any region/marital status/ country/religion and if there is something like that, its regretted. All I am intending is PUN.