The Exchange Offers –
Nicknamed as baby gorilla by probably the most qualified person to do so, Andrew Symonds, Robin Uthappa would lead the side from front and back. If Gagan Khoda could only play extra cover drive, Robin mastered his vast repertoire of strokes starting from scoop towards a very fine fine-leg to not so fine fine-leg. But his favourite stroke is leg side flick lofted in the range of gully to mid off. When Mumbai preferred to return this Bangalore’s son to Bangalore in exchange of Mumbai’s own borrowed son Zaheer Khan, RCB must have thought they got the explosive opener missing from their list last year. Till now, he has been successful in proving those people right who dropped him from Indian team. His wicket keeping has been a revelation and it was instrumental in KXIP’s win last night.
Sanjay ‘Monk’ Banger, having obliged DC in the previous season with his slow Mumbai local kind of batting, was acquired by KKR as an addition to their list of strange selections of Ajit Agarkar, Brad Hodge, Tadenda Taibu. Good thing about batting for KKR is that you can be sent to bat anytime so all 52 members of their squad are padded up at any point of time during their batting. Banger might not have got enough opportunities to bat last year but this year he is surely getting ample opportunities to practice how to put on the batting gears.
East India Company –
Welcome to the team of East India Company. Their sole motto is, run away with the money of the corporate who think they are still making money in these times of recession. And they are doing it fast. KP, bought at USD 1.55mn is leading from front. He has been so efficient that he hasn’t even tried more than two shots in an innings. He has often got out on second. Now people are betting on who will score more runs during IPL, Sachin’s wax statue at madam tussad or KP. I am playing fantasy cricket on one of the websites where I get INR 20cr everyday to select my team and prices of players are almost same as what it was during IPL auction. Every time RCB has played, I have bought KP for INR 6.5 cr and made him my captain as captain’s points scored during the match are tripled. With KP’s consistency, I get the feel of how RCB owners would be feeling after each of his failures. At least I get my INR 20cr back next day.
Next will have to be an Agarkar inspired Flintoff who has mastered the expertise of turning the match around in one over, against his own side I mean. CSK has lost twice so far and both the times it was Flintoff who turned it around be it against DD or MI. Luckily for CSK, injury has forced him out of IPL.
Similarly Brad Hodge has been dodging KKR as he did it last season. But for KKR, story doesn’t end here. They have also been robbed by a laptop, their coaches’ laptop as claimed by some surreptitious blogger.
The Nanha Munna Brigade –
This team consists of Tata Nanos i.e. players who were bought by their franchises who couldn’t buy what they wanted due to scarcity of funds hence went for smaller versions. So RCB went for nanha yuvraj singh, Virat Kohli who like Yuvraj - wears his attitude on his sleeves and keeps ability to face quality bowling back in the dressing room. Like Yuvraj, he looks as if he is going to use his bat to bash up the bowler rather than the ball.
Than there is Nanha Nagarjuna, Venugopal Rao who was hired by DC as team’s star ambassador. Looks like DC wanted to have Nagarjuna as its ambassador but their pocket ran dry because of their expansive foreign player’s buyouts. Hence they went for portable version of the south Indian superstar.
Dhoni’s once lucky mascot, Jogi Sharma (chhota Betaal of Vikram aur Betaal fame) might also make it to this team. Not so long ago, like Bhuvan had a Kachara in his team (in Lagaan), Dhoni had Jogi who had this magnificent ability to bowl so close to the lines marked for indicating wide deliveries that umpires started asking third umpires to give a verdict on the delivery’s legitimacy. In addition to this who can forget his gesture of sitting on the ground and showing his fist with a smiling face whenever he took a catch/wicket as if a 45 year old virgin has finally done “it”. Jogi is just 25 though.
The coach team –
This team would consist of Jhon Bucchanan, his deputies as bowling/batting/fielding/wicket keeping/appealing coaches, his son who is physical of trainer of players, his nephew who is his personal trainer, his wife’s brother, his brother’s wife’s brother, his son in law, son in law’s brother, his father in law’s trainer. They will also have a laptop repairer, modem repairer, his tailor, his barber, his physics teacher, his son’s physics teacher, his math’s teacher, his son in law’s maths teacher. They might want to include some cricketers in case budget permits.
Standard Disclaimer – No intentions to hurt any sentiments. if I have stille managed to do so, its deeply regretted.