Sunday, September 06, 2009

Beedi Jalai Le!!!

Every Friday I feel extremely tired and nearly sick. I know what I lack. I am suffering from SLAB – serious lack of alcohol in blood. So I go drink with some of my friends. Well, on a Friday evening there is nothing better than having a pitcher and telling people about your college stories. Here is one of those many stories I talked yesterday.

In our engineering college, there was a big temple. Outside this temple there were a few shops where we used to have idli, coffee¸samosa etc. The place used to be our regular hangout.

So once, I along with three other friends X, Y and Z went to have some idlis there. While Y and Z decided to have idlis, X decided to have a smoke. He took me to the panshop along with him. As we reached there he, who was a casual smoker anyhow, suddenly demanded

“Let’s have Bidi today in place of cigarette”
“Why?” I asked.

“That is because I want to have it”.
“Okay” I said.

He asked for a bidi from the shopkeeper. Shopkeeper obliged.

A bit of technical difference between bidi and cigarette here - when one is lighting a cigarette, he has to inhale it because a cigarette is tobacco wrapped in a paper which doesn’t catch fire easily. Lighting a bidi is a bit different. Its outer wrap consists of leaves which catch fire more easily than paper wrap. So even if one is inhaling while lighting a bidi, he has to be more careful. It can always backfire.

X, being a completely naïve, put the bidi in his mouth, lit the lighter, put the bidi on fire and inhaled with all the power in his lungs – thinking leaves wont burn. To his surprise, leaves caught fire.

X was known in the college for the densest moustache ever seen in the entire city. It was believed that he reincarnated with his moustache of previous life else it wasn’t possible to develop such density in 21 years. If he had a fight with anyone, he would hit him with his moustache. There were more stories about his moustache than Phantom and Rakhi Sawant put together. If Angelina Jolie is proud of her lips, JLO is proud of her butts, X was proud of his moustache.

As X lit the bidi, he started shouting because he had virtually pulled back the fire in the leaves towards his moustache which started burning. He immediately put his hands on his moustache to put it off. It all happened with in a matter of few micro seconds and X thought it went unnoticed. But yours truly, with his eagle eyes, had spotted the entire episode in slow motion like “The one – Neo”.

I told X that his moustache were burnt. He refused to accept. I told him again. He refused again. We decided to head back to the idli shop where Y and Z were feasting on idli. Just before we reached the shop, X accepted that his moustache did get fire and took a promise from me – “Don’t tell this to anyone.” I broke the promise as soon as we reached the shop.

X again refused to accept the fact that it happened. Now we were three and he was alone.

We told him “There are white marks on the moustache which only appear when you get your hair burnt. You got your moustache burnt which is clearly visible.” But he kept refusing.

Anyhow, when we were just 10 meters away from hostel gate, X accepted again that he did get his moustache burnt. He again took a promise, this time from Y, Z and me, that we wouldn’t reveal the entire episode to anyone. By the time we were 9 meters away from the gate, X had disappeared. Anyhow, none of us were interested in keeping the promise. First room we entered in our hostel had at least 10 guys sitting. We exploded the story like a bomb. All of us burst into laughter. But suddenly other guys wanted to see the legacy which was supposed to have continued for X from his last life to this one. They wanted to see it burnt.

We started searching for X. We checked every room. We checked the mess. We checked the TV room. We checked the ground. We checked everywhere. But X was no where to be found. We thought he wasn’t there in the hostel. As all of us were returning back to our rooms, one word suddenly stuck our minds – Toilet. We all started looking for him in the toilets and he was found in the last one.

X was found in one of the toilets. He was using black marker pen to colour his moustache in black.


itsakash4u said...

cann't resist my laugh...
Engineering college days are my favourite tooooooo..

Yayaver said...

Rofl!! VT pe kabhi beedi try nahi ki.. ab wapas jaungaa bhi to bhi nahi karungaa. Kyaa story hai and end dhurandhar :)

Spiff said...


ab pata chala...tiger ne munche kyu uda li

Dreamer said...

haha....this is vintage humor
hope spiff takes a cue from this.

Aditya said...

haha that was funny. Black marker pen? man haha

Sachin Gulhane said...

Too good ... Good humour !! Agar sabhi engg college ki aisi baato ka book publish kare .. to world's best selling hoga :-)