Monday, March 07, 2011

World cup times – Edition 3.0!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have just finished the third week of this tournament which is played to win the cup that matters. Considering the length of the tournament, I am sure you would start wondering if the cup really matters. Especially, once you start seeing IPL ads sometime by the end of this month.
We were supposed to see two matches in the last week slated as a contest between two equally matched sides – Canada V Zimbabwe and New Zealand V Zimbabwe. By simple mathematical logic, if A=B and B=C, A should also equal C. Hence the match between New Zealand and Canada should also be considered as a contest between two equally matched sides. Zimbabwean captain read this blog and felt insulted of them being compared with New Zealand in terms of cricketing ability. He decided that if there is one man who would be eating his words while dining on the last night of February 2011, it would be yours truly. First, Zimbabwe batted like most of the teams have batted against Piyush Chawla. Later Zimbabwe bowled like Shahid Afridi has done in this tournament. 

ICC rejected Gayle’s complaint against South Africa. Gayle complained that South Africa, when he was batting against Botha, had put pebbles on the pitch otherwise there was no way in the world for Botha to turn a ball. ICC’s three member inspection committee rejected the claim saying that the pitch was as flat as the 2 bald heads on MTV roadies. They reasoned that, “Although Botha turning the ball is something that can only be preceded by a silent Siddhu as far as rarity of the event is concerned, unthinkable events do occur. We consider this to be a completely unnatural event.” It was blamed to global warming.

Kenya did wonderfully well against Sri Lanka. At least their match lasted more than 50 overs.

England has again and again shown to us that they have come as a true ambassador of 50 over cricket. All of their matches have gone to the wire or something. Just that the match against Ireland became a wire around their own neck. Since that match, O’Brien has been looking out for a buyer in IPL.

Netherland Vs South Africa match was a typical minnow murder. JP Duminy played a nice little cameo in the end. Do mini, Mini-me.

Just when Pakistan gave us hope that we would witness second upset of the week, they disappointed us. Such a hopelessly disappointing team they are.

Seems like my fan following is increasing. Not only Zimbabwean captain, but New Zealand captain also read my blog. They crushed Zimbabwe.

If 2003 was South Africa, 2007 was Woolmer; causality of 2011 came in the match between Bangladesh against West Indies. The causality was magnified after the match. The match got over before 50% of the Bangladehi supporters could enter the stadium. They stoned the bus carrying West Indies although it was the case of mistaken identities. When they saw Chris Gayle sitting in the front row, they thought of him as Mushfiqur Rahim. Hence they took West indies’s bus as Bangladesh’s bus. Is it their fault if Gayle and Rahim look like identical twins? Chris Gayle, who had already been hit by the global warming in the last week, got so scared that he almost cried on a micro-blogging website. He should be thankful that the match was not played in and against Pakistan. Imagine what would have happened to their bus in that case. Ask Sri Lankans.

As soon as Australians were told that they would be facing three specialist spinners and countless part timers against Sri Lanka, they started praying for rains. God showed his kindness. Australians were even happier to know that God showed his kindness to Pakistan as well in 1992. Australians have called back M. Hussey to replace Bollinger. Not sure if Bollinger was not fit enough to bat or Hussey can bowl fast. Not sure if they wished for Ponting to be injured in place of Bollinger. LCDs in the dressing rooms would have felt safer if Ponting had got injured.

England again proved how adaptable they are – they can adapt their game based on who they are playing. If a team can tie with India, lose to Ireland and beat South Africa in a single week, it must be England. South Africa showed again that wine can only get better with age. See, I did not use a word starting from the letter C.

India showed that they are emulating England. Yuvraj showed that he is emulating Afridi. Afridi showed that he is emulating Warne. Warne has already showed us enough.

At the point of writing this, Canada is cruising against Zimbabwe. But they might have made a mistake. They have taken a batting power play.

See you in a few days.


Spiff said...

Well. NZLs always play well in ICC tourneys..still a pretty useless team i shd say

and we shd dump chawla

Alpachra said...