Saturday, March 26, 2011

World Cup Times – Edition 7.0!!!

Ladies and gentleman, we are back. So are the Australians and West Indians or they will be in sometime. They missed it and we missed them. But we didn’t miss South African captain Graeme Smith even though he missed it as well, again. We caught up with him after the match. We think this was the only interview which he might have given. Not that he was reluctant to give any interviews; it required immense courage to go near him tonight. However, we did manage to interview him somehow. Here is an excerpt of that exclusive, exhaustive, exasperating, exacerbating and extra terrestrial interview –

On asking - Hello Mr. Smith, How do you do?

Immediately gets up and holds the interviewer by his collar. The interviewer is shocked.

Smith - Dare you ask me this? Bloody we have been looking to find it out for 19 years now. I don’t know how we do it. We just do it. Oh, you meant my well being? What well being? We just jumped into a well. There is no being now. It’s all has been now. It’s always has been.

On asking about South Africa’s contribution to WC11 -

Smith – Yes we have added a lot. We have been the biggest cynosure in all such tournaments. If you have ever studied in a college, you would know which is the chic most in demand? It’s not the one who is hot. It’s not the one who is easiest pick. It’s someone who is both. Hot chic looks good on your CV. Easy pick for obvious “I am going to knock her out first” reasons. We have been that hot chic but easy pick of the world cups. Doesn’t everyone love us because of that?

On asking about who will captain South Africa after him -

Smith – Don’t know who will captain us next? May be we will not have a captain. In last 19 years, we have tried winning with 4 captains – one of them is dead, other two didn’t take up commentator’s job this time because they wanted to save their lives from Siddhu. Nothing has clicked under any captain. Why not a no captain theory? KKR tried multiple captain theory. They were raped. We use single captain theory. We Choke. Look at Pakistan. They just thought of going without a Captain and look where they are – in Semi finals. I tell you, captain and winning have an inverse correlation. May be you can stop a rally. To do that, all you need to do is to catch hold of its leader. But can you control a mob? Mob doesn’t have a face. It doesn’t have a leader. We will hide our faces somewhere and play without a captain – exactly like a mob. We any how don’t have a dearth of mobsters in our country anyhow.

How different was this time –

It was different. It is different every year. 1992 was rain. 1996 was Lara. 1999 was the chaos. 2003 was calculation. 2007 was capitulation. 2011 was the first time when we lost because of only cricketing reasons. This means that we lose because of more controllable reasons. Now all we need to do is improve the control. If you work on improving the processes, end result will be taken care off. May be we can do it by 2027.

On asking what is the take away from WC11 -

There has been a lot to takeaways. Kallis showed once again that his new hairdo is resulting in lot of success for him. In the match against NZ, he showed that success hasn’t changed him at all. He is still same old Kallis. But new hair on the body, do result in success. It has worked for Kallis. It worked for Sehwag. It even worked for Mohammad Yusuf who grew it somewhere else. May be you can tell your captain to do the same. Coming back to positives - we taught England that when it comes to choking, it all depends upon how many South Africans you have in your side - more the merrier. Hopefully they will stop stealing talent from us. I met Morgan, Deane not Eoin. I will soon be back next month. There is a lot to take away next month for sure.

1 comment:

Spiff said...

Smith ll succeed as Ireland captaian