Monday, January 16, 2012

The End!!!


Date  - 21-12-2012
Time – 10:00 AM in the morning.
Place – my residence.

I was getting ready – as always in a rush. Suddenly the doorbell rang. I opened the door and saw someone standing there with a smile.

“Yes?” I asked.
“Good morning. I have come to collect you” he replied with a smile.
“Is it? But I am not travelling out of town. I haven’t booked any cab”
“You don’t get this. I didn’t say I have come to pick you up. I said that I have come to collect you”
“Oh is it. And what does that mean exactly – to collect me?” I had sarcasm in my tone.
“Son, I am God. I have come to collect you since your time is over. Hurry up.
“Dude, if it’s some kind of an act to collect money for charity, let me tell you that I am in no mood to entertain. Now if you please excuse me, I got to get ready. I am already running late” I banged the door on his face and turned back.
But turning back turned out to be a shock of my life. He was sitting on my sofa and smiling at me. I was frozen in amazement filled with fear.
“How….how did you get inside?” I shouted while looking out for something with which I could hit him.
“Son, I am God. Hurry up, I am little short of time” he had nonchalance in his smile.
“Shut up and leave now or I will call the police” I shouted in extreme anger.
“Son, by now they would have reached the place you are supposed to go. I knew you wouldn’t believe me. Tell me how I can prove it to you that I am God”
“Dude, I am not an atheist but that doesn’t mean you can fool me by these cheap tricks. God is invisible. Only God I have seen is Sachin”
Ailla!!! Lahukar kar” a five and a half foot tall guy, with curly hair was sitting on my sofa and speaking to me in Marathi. He was chipping the nails of his right hand and left hand was adjusting you-know-what.
Saaaaaaaaaaccccchhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnn” I shouted in disbelief. Just that no voice came out of my throat.
“Now you believe that I am God?” the face claiming to be God was back in place of Sachin.
“Oh God. Oh my God. It’s you. Is it really you?”
“Yes my son. It’s me”
“But why are you here - to collect me? Means I am going to die?”
“Well let’s just say, I am fulfilling your belief”
“What belief?”
“Don’t you remember today’s date? Its December the 21st, 2012”
“Oh is it? Yes it is. So it’s happening. Mayans, Mayans were right. I knew it. I always knew it.”
“Yes they were right and so was your belief.”
“But why? why?”
“Son, let’s just say these are my rules. All things, good or bad do come to an end. Like, like your childhood, like your youth, like your golden days or like the days when you were sick, like when you were really pissed off with life. Everything has to end one day”
“Yeah, even Ra.One ended” I said with tongue in cheek.
“Oh, thank God it ended” he said and immediately realized that he himself was God “I mean thank me”
“Yes I do. All of us do. But tell me something; are you individually collecting everyone like you have come to collect me?”
“Well I would love to. But the rate at which you people have grown, it’s physically impossible for me to do so.
“Oh is it? Why are you visiting me then?”
“I took out the list of people of were the biggest crib masters – why I’ve never won a lottery? You name came out the in the lucky draw in that list. This is the lottery of your life”
“Finally, hope fructifies. But oh almighty, I wish you had given me some hint about this. Maybe I would have lived my life differently”
“I did give hints my son. I gave loads of hints. The tsunami in Japan was a hint; your so called credit crisis was a hint, uncontrollably increased entropy of this planet was a hint, Vinay Kumar making his test debut was a hint”
“But can’t we do anything to avoid it? I mean they must have got some plans, the Yankees I mean. They have saved this planet so many times, so what if in movies. They have done it”
For first time during our conversation, I saw his smile fading a bit “I will highly appreciate if you don’t take their name”
“Why? Are they not your children?”
“Yes they are. But they are really mischievous kids of mine. My house is divided on whether to take them or not”
“Why is that so?”
“Artful sellers they are. They sold some investment ideas to Indra. When Indra suffered some losses, Yankees showed him some calculations which were actually showing Indra’s losses as his profits. Indra took some more exposure. This went on and on. Indra ended up with such huge losses that Kubera had to come for his rescue. Now rumor has it that Yankees are trying to sell Kubera some of their investment plans”
“Oh, this all has reached there too?”
“Yes my son. Your world is burning. When there is fire, there is smoke. The smoke has reached up heavens too” he said while pointing upwards.
“I am listening”
“Now Indra wants Yankees to come and sell his plans to Kubera too. With Kubera making same mistakes, Indra will have the monkey off his back”
“Well this is how it works often. Make sure your preacher makes the same mistake and he will not be preaching you again” I said in a sympathizing tone.
“I don’t want them in my house either. I don’t want a recession at my place for sure. But lawmakers in my place are adamant – this planet has to be vacated. Mother Nature has been complaining of being overloaded for ages. I have a dilemma”
“So what are you going to do my Lord?” I asked.
“Well, I will have to take them ultimately. But I will also have to make sure that they remain decoupled from the rest”
“Completely?” I wondered.
“Maybe to start with, but as you know, they are my kids too. I cannot discriminate. Maybe they could prove their innocence and make amends after causing a rift in my house”
“How can they do it?”
“They have told me about some instruments which give handsome returns. They have said that these instruments are compliant with all the regulations and there are absolutely no chances of another catastrophic crisis. In addition to this, these instruments will give me handsome returns with minimal risks”
“So they have sold you as well into it?”
“Not the way they did it to Indra. I am not that stupid. But I also need to look after my funds. Once this planet is done away with, I will need huge amounts of funds for capital expenditure so that I can sow seeds of life in some other planet. Yankees can help me there. I have done all my due diligence”
“God, don’t you think you are making the same mistake we all made, Indra made?”
“Nope. I have checked the business plan, the NAV, run several stress tests in worst case scenarios. I have checked it all”
“But that everyone did. You are falling in the trap. Please don’t, please. You are becoming greedy. It’s the greed which killed us all.”
“I know what I am doing son. And let me remind you, I am God. I am immortal. Now if you please hurry up, we got some distance to cover. So hurry you up, and I will go start my engine” he said while moving out.
A loud cacophonous sound hit my ears. With each passing second, it was becoming louder. I woke up. The movie 2012 was in its climax. I switched off the TV and went back to sleep.

1 comment:

Spiff said...

I think the day after tomorow was better