Sunday, June 09, 2013

The forbidden topic!!!

Warning - To be read only if you had put up more than 18 candles on your birthday cake on your last birthday. This post contains some content which maybe offensive for few readers. Hence all those who have tendency to get offended, kindly give it a skip. To the other side of gender divide - I am just voicing the thoughts of your other side of the gender divide. Please do not sue, abuse,  preach or delete me from your friend list after reading this.
 
Don’t take me as a frustrated pervert. But today I am going to talk about a topic I have rarely read about. It is something which always interests men. It is something women use to get men interested. Ladies and gentlemen, I am going to talk about cleavages today. Yes, the C word. 

Gentlemen, let’s be honest about it. A cleavage is something we cannot take our eyes off, never. Like a shark can smell blood anywhere in the ocean, we can sense a cleavage from miles away.

For men, a cleavage is an astoundingly binding and uniting factor. We don’t discriminate when it comes to cleavages, we just don’t. Black or white, slim or fat, young or old, we treat all of them with equal respect, devotion and gaping mouth. 

The racist world was divided in two colors – black and white. Then we Indians, I think, came up with another color as brown. Well we pride ourselves of being free from any kind of racism, especially color, but isn’t calling ourselves as brown is another way of telling the world – “Hey we are not white. But we are not black like them either. We are brown”. Sorry people but I find this bigger racism than calling someone black. This shows more contempt – we are dark in color but “You” are darker than us. That’s a different discussion though which is beyond my capacity. Let’s focus on cleavages – well we all love to, don’t we? Men I meant. 

Ask yourself a question and try answering honestly – if you happen to be a white or a brown for that matter and a black woman bends down in front of you for any reason, don’t your eyes automatically zoom in the pass between the two mountains? Don’t they? 

What does it prove? It simply proves that when it comes to cleavages, we men don’t discriminate based on color. We just don’t. If I had it my way, I would have made cleavages the symbol of fight against apartheid. Same goes for caste, religion, region, SIR Jadeja fans and haters. Cleavages universally unite men. 

Cleavages teach us a lot. They always attract, always. But we would rather watch a good cleavage, there is nothing like a bad cleavage for that matter, than what generates them. The genesis of cleavage may not be that pleasing to eyes – we shall look for shape, size, balance, cleanliness and God knows what. We shall seek perfection. But in cleavages, we just don’t. Cleavages, no matter how they are, are always perfect. They teach us to be contempt with what we get, be happy with it. Not everything that’s pleasing to eyes, to soul and to whatever else, may not turn out to be that good. In some cases, it may actually turn out to be ugly. Think Bobby Darling, just think for a moment. Cleavages teach us to be happy with what we have and don’t dig too deep in hope of getting happier. Because happiness is something that can never be achieved, it can only be pursued. Cleavages encourage us to pursue, don’t they?

Imagine a female friend of yours sitting in front of you and showing off something unknowingly which leaves you agape. Well in some cases even men may have cleavages but I am not of that kind. I would stick to female cleavages. I prefer a clear pass between two mountains – a jungle in that pass makes life difficult. So what would you do in such situation? 

Cleavages teach you self-restraint. You need to look away. But just in case hormones take precedence over your self-control, you would learn to be cunning. That’s what cleavages teach you.

 If you find a dozen men fighting in a room on how to design budget of their country where fiscal deficit is twice the GDP growth, inflation is nearing triple digit, neighboring countries are trying to attack and head of the state has just been shot down, just send a women wearing a deep cut top in that room. Pin drop silence and wide open jaws is what you will find next. The fierce battle of words scaring to turn into a war will transform into peace. Cleavages are mankind’s only hope for peace. Once they take precedence, nothing else matters.

Hence let us pay tribute to God’s one of the best gifts to mankind, look for a female nearby you and see if she is kind enough. In case she is, go talk to her. Remember, we need to respect women. Hence don’t look into her eyes. Just look down and peace is all that will prevail.

3 comments:

Sachin Gulhane said...

Wish you could have posted as good pic as the content of the discussion

Spiff said...

regressive post

Anonymous said...

Hostel waala Chammo Post!