Monday, November 18, 2013

Diaries down under – Part 6!!!

I am not a racist. I do not support racial discrimination. Consider first two lines a standard disclaimer.

But I do like making observation about different races. Actually I don’t really know the definition of races hence I would put it this way – I like making observation about people of different kinds.

They all react similarly in certain conditions. It is human nature.

They all react differently in certain conditions. It is nature of the kind of human they are.

Oh I didn’t understand the meaning of my previous sentence but that’s okay. I hardly ever do – wrote it just to make a heavy start.

Having stayed in an alien environment for almost a month, I have had a few chances to observe people belonging to different countries, regions, religions and maybe if we club them all – different races.

It is fun.

Let’s begin with the hosts – Australians.

I have been surprised by the emphasis Australians put on looking good. They almost seem to be obsessed with it. They seem to be obsessed with keeping a mannequin line body – be it males or females.

In case of males, they rarely have the curve so prevalent among Indian males – around waist. Same can be said about females – they have it where it should be, I hope you know what I mean. And they believe in the theory of – if you have it, why not flaunt it. I hope you know what I mean. They all stand upright, stout and walk as if they have a purpose – which often is to go have a beer.

Most Australian bodies have three notable peculiarities – near perfect figure, tattoos (be it on face, head or somewhere else) and a nose ring.

Yes, a nose ring – irrespective of gender. Sometimes it is in left nostril, sometimes it is in the right one. Quite often you would see it in the middle.

Yes, in the middle.

I just don’t understand the reason behind it. It is as if they are decedents of bulls and not apes. It is as if this nose ring is one body part which was strong enough to negate the natural evolution – journey bull to human.

When an Australian passes by you, he would look into your eyes, often pass a smile, ask “How are you?” and carry on. I think the word is courteous.  

Australia has huge population belonging to South East Asians. No offence meant but I have never been able to distinguish between them – if someone is a Chinese or a Korean or Singaporean or someone else.

For my own simplicity, I keep calling them Chinese.

Well, it’s the biggest fish in the pond that gives it the name. I don’t know how different I look from a Pakistani or a Bangladeshi or a Sri Lankan but people always refer to me as an Indian. We are the biggest fish. We give it a name.

There is a peculiarity among all the young Chinese you would see. Every Chinese guy would be holding his girl’s hand in one hand, would be wearing a colourful jacket, would have his SLR hanging from his neck and his other hand would be in the pocket of his jeans. They all look like honeymoon couples. Quite likely couple’s elder would be walking just ahead of them which makes me wonder if there is a concept of “family honeymoon” in their culture. Every now and then, the group would stop, stand in front of something, tilt to their left, say cheese and make a V symbol from their right hand as if they have conquered that place – all of them. Looks like they are quite serious about conquering the world. The man with the camera would take the picture, show it to the entire group and take their picture again. The process would be repeated a few times and then they would move on to another place to conquer it.  

When Chinese walk past you, they would never ever look at you. Never. Males would be busy looking here and there. Females would look straight – dead straight. They would just pass by.

BTW, I have seen a Chinese pregnant woman. Contrary to popular belief, they do exist. Next I want to see is a curly haired Chinese. I wonder if he/she exists.

There is a big population from subcontinent – often termed as Indians by others and Desis by Indians.

Desis roam around with a puzzled look on their faces which says “How can I save a dollars”. Every Desi , just before he makes any kind of payment, halts for a moment, thinks, does mental calculation of multiplying latest exchange rate with the amount he is paying, makes the payment and walks out with the look saying “India mein yeh aadhe mein mil jaati” (I would have bought it at half the price in India).

Desis walk at half a pace at which an Australian does but cover 75% of the distance in the same time. It is because of the gigantic tummy which gives them an edge. Be it train, tram or a room, it is Desi tummy which enters first. Rest of the body just follows it.

While Desis fall in the category of being least fashionable, but their overall attire can qualify as most sensible. They are the most decently dressed lot here. Obviously I am not counting wannabe females here – the kind which puts on revealing cloths and spends rest of the time in covering the exposure.

When a Desi male walks past by you, he would look straight in to your eyes, would just keep looking and the moment you think he would say a “Hi”, he would look away and walk past by you. His facial expressions would say, “Yeh Indians har jagah mil jaate hain” (These Indians, they are everywhere)

When a Desi female walks past by you, she would turn her eyes at an angle of 15 degrees to look at you in case you are looking at her. Her facial expressions would say, “Kameena saala, kaise bhookhe bhediyon ki tarah ghoor raha hai. Desis. That’s why I like Peter. He is so decent(Scoundrel, he is staring at me like a hungry wolf).

Just in case you aren’t looking at that Desi female walking past by you, she would increase the angle of vision to 45 degrees. Her facial expressions would say, “Attitude to dekho inka, jaise pata nahi kahan ke hero hain. Even Peter doesn’t have such an attitude(Look at his attitude as if he is some kind of a hero).

Well, observing different traits of different cultures is real fun. How different can people be? How differently they can react.     

But then, doesn’t matter who they are, pedestrians are first to break the traffic rules knowing there isn’t any penalty for that. People find it difficult to wait for people to get out of a train so that they can get in. And knowing that a customer is stuck with them for some reason, they don’t really bother about them.

Human nature – so different yet so much similar.

Disclaimer: Pun intended. Any sentiments hurt are regretted.

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