Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Harry Potter and Election 2014!!!


It is a work of fiction. Resemblance of any person, dead or alive is purely coincidental.


It was a typical London evening - while setting sun had beautifully painted the sky in saffron color, dark clouds were trying their best to set the sun before it should. Slight drizzle had kept Harry at home. Harry was getting bored and he decided to switch on to Sky Sports to watch CSK match. He had become a huge fan of SIR Jadeja.


Suddenly, doorbell rang. Harry opened the door. At the door he found a man in his 40s, of Harry's height, wearing specs, covering almost all his face in a muffler and a white cap which had something written on it which looked like a foreign language.

"Yes. How can I help you?" asked Harry.

The man coughed so hard that Harry almost took out his cell phone to dial for the ambulance. "Mr Harry PotterJi. Please to meet you. I'm AirWind KeJhadeBaal, founder of Mango Man Party (MMP) from India"

"Oh yes. I've heard about you and your astounding ways to bring changes to the system. But I'm really sorry sir, I don't make any donations"

"No HarryJi, No. I'm not here to collect donations. I'm here for some other purpose"

"And that is?" inquired Harry.

"For that, I will have to sit. I won't eat or drink anything till...."AirWind started to sit down.

"No, no. Not here. Please come in" Harry interrupted him. His batch mate Parvati Patil had informed Harry about happenings in India. Harry didn't want a Dharna at his gate.

AirWind sat down. Harry offered him tea.

"Yes sir, tell me. What brings you here?" Asked Harry.

AirWind briefed him about electoral procedure in India, about MMP and few other things. In the end he said," As I said HarryJi, my election symbol is broom. I know your fondness for brooms and I also know you have many of them. Can I get your Nimbus2001 for few days?"

"What? Blimey. You want a broom from a wizard and that too Nimbus2001? As you may or may not know, I've given of wizardry long back. So I am soon going to destroy them so that they do not fall in wrong hands. Anyways, why would you want that broom?"

"Well HarryJi, if I get that broom, I can tell everyone that my election symbol is endorsed by the best broom in the world while campaigning with Nimbus2001. I can tell people that I've got the best broom in the world to sweep the corruption in our system. I can tell them that opposition can't stop me from sweeping them out of elections because I've got the most powerful broom in the world"

"Goodness gracious. Nimbus2001 isn't meant for sweeping or cleaning"

"I know HarryJi. But we will have to bring the change now. We have to clean the system. People of this country have woken up. Junta of this country have woken up"

"Which country? You're in England"

AirWind coughed,"I'm sorry. People of India have woken up. They can't be fooled anymore"

"What the hell has that got to do with Nimbus2001? Why should I give it to you?"

"Don't worry HarryJi. We are fully transparent in our donations. We shall post your name on our website. We keep account of each and every penny"

"But why?"

"Because you've to show your support for me. You've to show your support for a common man like you"

"I'm not a common man. I'm a wizard, used to be the best one" Harry's ego was hurt.

"That's what HarryJi, that's what. You're so special yet live like a common man. No VIP culture. No Z+ security. No big bungalows. That's what I'm fighting for"

"What? A bungalow and Z+ security?"

"No HarryJi, no. I'm fighting for common man. I'm fighting for common man of India who has woken up. And I've shown to you how similar I'm to you. I can show you more"

"You've got my attention" said Harry.

"Like DumbledoreJi, I also had my Guru. Alas, we aren't together now"

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that"

"No, HarryJi no. He's very much alive. Just that we've parted ways. And who was that friend of yours who had long hair and beard"

"Hagrid, my dear Hagrid"

"I've had a friend like him too" said AirWind and did a round of Kapal Bhati. "Like you, I've also got many friends who are commoners. They don't belong to anyone in the ministry of magic or anything like that. You know, I know someone like Draco Malfoy, a high profile son of a very big name. We don't get along at all"

"Oh Draco. He has turned out to be a good friend"

"Oh is it? Lot of people guess that my and my Draco's future would be the same. See, how many similarities we've got"

"But its not all about friends. Its about foes too. I had a foe, a big one"

"The dark lord. I've mine. He's really dark"

"What's his name?"

"Ssshhh, we don't take his name"

"But you've got to be brave"

"Yes I know. But my dark lord is very dangerous. He's destroyed everyone who's come in his way. He's a true dictator, an anarchist"

"But I've been told that you're a self proclaimed anarchist"

"My anarchy is for common man. His anarchy is for crony capitalists. We are different"

Harry looked perplexed. The doorbell rang again. A man wearing pink pants was waiting.

"Hey Harry, dude. I'm Rob, Rob Art WhatRaw. Call me Rob"

"How can I help you sir?" Asked polite Harry.

"Well as you know Harry, the land on which your house is built belongs to me. In fact this entire area belongs to me"

"Okay. Now will you leave on your own or shall I call the Police" Harry wasn't amused.

"Relax dude, read them" Rob threw some papers on Harry and sat on the sofa "Oh AirWind is also here. What for? Nimbus?"

AirWind didn't respond.

"So Harry, here's the deal dude. Hand me over your magical broom and I shall let you stay here on rent. Else, I've brought the police with me. Now hurry up, I need to help Draco for his interview with AirNab GlobalWarming. Poor kid, AirNab will anihilate him"

Harry looked outside the window. Two police vans were parked outside. The paper in his hands which Rob had handed over clearly said that the land belonged to Rob. Harry had seen dark magic of different kind but this magic which he had just seen was the darkest of them all. 

"Why do you need the broom" asked Harry.

"Well, my friend Draco wants it. Someone has told him that with the help of this broom, he can generate the escape velocity which will improve his state of mind. If Draco wants it, I want it"

"No. I came here first. Broom belongs to me" AirWind said facing Rob "We have awakened now. We can't be suppressed. We won't be suppressed. We will fight"

"Abey teri fight ki" said Rob and ran towards Airwind to bash up. 


Suddenly doorbell rang again. Before Harry could move, the door opened on its own.


An old man entered the room. He was sitting on a flying saucer which was designed like a lotus. Seeing him, both AirWind and Rob shouted in fear - "Oh, Development Baba. Damn"

"How did you open the door" asked Harry.

"Oh that's nothing. My model of development goes much beyond opening the doors. Like breaking the broom in to pieces which these two want to badly" said Development Baba, brought some gadget out of his pocket and Nimbus2001, Harry Potter's prized possession turned in to ashes.

AirWind and Rob watched it happen, they just watched it.

"Why?" asked Harry.

"Because these two wanted it. Its my duty to deny them whatever they want. Did you need it? Let me know if you did. In my model of development, I've made much better things."

Harry was content with what he had. He was anyhow going to destroy it. "No, I'm fine"

"But I want something. Give me your magical powers, some of them at least" asked Development Baba.

"Why do you want it?"

"I will use it to further develop my model of development"

"Well I can't give you my magical powers. I can't transfer it to muggles. Maybe I would have if I could but I can't"

"Oh no. Give me something. What about deathly hallows? Did you really destroy them" asked Rob.

"Yes I did. But that makes me wonder, which one of those three you would have preferred. Development Baba, I ask you first. What and why?"

"I would have liked to have the invincible wand. I know it will help me in winning the elections but the kind of expectations people have from me, only a magical wand can save me"

"What about you Rob?" asked Harry.

"I've all that I want, dude. But yeah, if I could have Resurrection Stone for my friend Draco, it will be great. He will bring back his dead family members to life so that they can handle politics. Its surely not his piece of cake"

"And Mr AirWind?"

"Development Baba has broken my broom. What can I do now? I wish I could have cloak of invisibility so that I could disappear"

"So what can you give me now" asked Development Baba.


"As I said, I cannot transfer my magical powers to you. That's not possible. Other than that, I do not have anything. Sorry"



A deathly silence followed. Harry switched his TV on. SIR Jadeja was taking his guard.


All four of them bowed in front of TV to take SIR's blessings - three of them for elections and Harry for getting his house back from Rob.

1 comment:

Sachin Gulhane said...

Superb !! Back to old days of style .. keep it up